until or in spite of death.

I will praise!

Today, I am reminded of this “Loud Adoration of Praise Until Death.” It cannot help but look different in different circumstances. Sometimes in the face of Death, we may find it hard to lift a prayer, much less praise.

My husband’s mother passed away last night. I have watched him struggle for some time after a stroke left her unresponsive. She was not in a coma, her eyes were open, she could see you, but she did not respond by talking or show any interest in anything. However, she loved it when you held her hand. Every week, he would visit, read the bible to her, sing, and kiss her goodnight. A blanket of sadness was settling over his heart. We just had a conversation a few days before she passed on about putting on garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3). We reminisced about how God had lifted me from my own battle of depression.

I will admit that when I lost my mom last year, I felt hollow, and there was an abundance of emotion to sift through. I attended a grief share class at church. Which taught me it is okay to be angry; it is what we do with the anger that matters. The most important thing I learned is that I am not like anyone else. The way I grieve, my interpretations of life, and my relationship with mom are unique to me, and that is okay. God knows me, and he will carry me through it all!

I learned that praise is not always a joyful celebration. Sometimes it is found in quite a thankful state. I learned God knows just what I need for my own life! He gave me the mother I needed, not the one I thought I wanted, but the one I needed to instill in me the drive I needed. Then he gave me a wonderful stepmom to fill my gaps. Just like God gave my husband a wonderful grandmother to fill his gaps. I thank God for the conversations in the years leading up to her departure, during which I vented my grievances. She may not have agreed, but I have a voice, which is something I did not have at a young age.

It is funny how just accepting God’s word, such as the verse “ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love the lord” (Romans 8:28), can bring peace. I have heard many sermons and podcasts lately on how, in hard times, victories are won, testimonies are built, and beautiful things grow. God, today I lift praise for your sure and steady hand leading us through this life. I praise you for fighting the battle of death, hell, and the grave to give us life eternal. I know life and death are in your hands, and I trust you with it all. Come, let us LAUD him together!

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Keywords: depression, Praise, death